Not the BBC News - all the news you won't get on the Beeb
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- How to save the BBC from itself (and get its hand out of our pockets)
Click to visit The Complete BBC Young Pioneers Handbook
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
To All Citizens
Stay Calm - Do NOT Panic
Senior party members and BBC colleagues are instructed to make their way to Downing Street immediately.
All other citizens should stay in their homes and - KEEP AWAY FROM CASH MACHINES until further notice.
(It's the right thing to do!)
Attention all citizens
In view of the present serious and unprecedented emergency (which began in America) the loyal BBC Pioneers have been entrusted by senior Party cadres to bring you live situation reports direct from the Dear Leader as he confronts the grave situation from his command headquarters.
Citizens are reminded that The Leader has the situation (which began in America) completely under control and there is no need for panic.
Please stand by for further instructions and DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ACCESS YOUR BANK ACCOUNTS!